Going Like Sixty

There’s something amiss (pun intended) in the Ladies Professional Golf Association. (LPGA) (ladies, harumph!) No, it’s not their lack of language skills like the LPGA thinks, it’s their lack of looks and the fact that they are all named Park, Kim or Lee. Except for Ochoa. And Wie, but she can’t win.

The LPGA announced they will suspend players from their tour if they can’t pass an oral evaluation. (No pun intended)

Seon-Hwa Lee, the only Asian with multiple victories this year, said she works with an English tutor in the winter. Her ability to answer questions without the help of a translator has improved she says. But I’ll bet you a long tee, she needed a helper to formulate this quote…

“The economy is bad, and we are losing sponsors,” Lee said. “Everybody understands.”

One of the directors, Ms. Peters (I am NOT making this up) says it’s only right.

“This is an American tour,” Peters said. “It is important for sponsors to be able to interact with players and have a positive experience.”

And here I thought it was all about TV ratings lead by quality golf! No, it’s just that the big-wig white guys want to flirt with the golfer chicks.

Some obviously closeted men even think beach volley ball got tedious during the Olympics.

Since it’s not about TV ratings, and they won’t play golf in bikinis, I cannot come up with a solution. I’m just saying that teaching Kim Lee Park to say “conditions were good for scoring, I just couldn’t make any putts” won’t resurrect the Ladies Professional Golf Association Tour.

These may not be solutions, but they are my suggestions:

• Paula Creamer dresses everyone.

• Posture lessons from Morgan Pressel

• Wardrobe by Venus Williams

• Lift, clean and place at every tournament see Morgan Pressel)
• Weight to Height ratio enforced
• Lose a limb or have a short arm
• Deduct inches from knee to bottom of skirt from final score.
• Gimme putts length determined by bust measurement
• All female caddies who must meet same standards above.
• Players who cash in must collect check that is laying on the ground.
• Kissing your caddy after each round must be open mouth.

Nah, it’s hopeless. The LPGA is headed the same as the National Hockey League: you can see them on TV only if you have 886 cable/satellite channels. And then only during playoffs. What? no playoffs in Ladies Professional Golf? Well there ya go! LPGA needs playoffs!

Resorts have large pools like this 250,000 cubic meter mega pool, which is basically the size of a small lake.  In a similar quest for more water, here are high level details about a mega residential pool.

Gilbert Arenas is a Wizard, an NBA Washington Wizard basketball player of some ability. He is building the largest residential pool in America. These photos are taken of the work in progress, but you can see it features REAL boulders which took up 1/2 of the Million Dollar price tag. Three fish tanks are included including one in the “basement” of the pool so Arenas and his swimming friends can watch the real expert swimmers. Fish. The pool should be done later this month.

The WNBA had a good old cat fight. This is good. Cat fight means everybody is writing about the WNBA. That’s a women’s pro basketball league in case you didn’t know. So a couple of all stars from LA and Detroit got into a shoving match (no punches thrown, girls! Gotta at least make a swing!) One of the players ended the brawl on the floor with an injured knee (girls! NEVER get hurt during a fight.) It’s obvious that the female race car drivers have it figured out. 1. Put a fence between you and opponent. 2. Only throw a towel.

The Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 is one of the fastest production cars to come out of GM, and at the heart of its stunning performance is the LS9 engine. Debuting in January of this year at the Detroit Motor Show, the 638hp (476kW) and 819Nm (604lb-ft) LS9 powerplant is capable of pushing the ZR1 from standstill to 60mph in just 3.4 seconds and onto a top speed of 205mph.